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cockamamie jamie

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12 Disciples "ORCA" Snapback (Only 12 Available!)

The 12 Disciples "ORCA" Snapback -- Stay murky and dark in the deep end of the Aquarium in this super limited edition bubble letter "ORCA" snapback.

Only 12 available!

Baby seals won't see you coming, but, if they do, you will slaughter them in front of their mothers, because YOU are a killer whale, an apex predator, God's lonely man.

ORDER NOW [click "store" link above]

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Grizzly Fest Special! // (1 ticket + 3 albums)- $40

This year I will be playing Grizzly Fest 2016 alongside some amazing local and national artists! To celebrate, I have 100 tickets available that I am offering with a special deal!

(offer expires May 1st!)

YOU get:
1 - GRIZZLY FEST 2016 ticket
1 - digital copy of the NEW "Orca" album
1 - digital copy of the "Survivor Series" EP
1 - digital copy of The Argyle Pimps - "Invisible Jet-Ski's" album
+ stickers & buttons!

$40! (click "store" tab above)

Albums will be emailed with download codes
Orca will be emailed on May 7th

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First 50 Pre-Order Deal a SUCCESS!!!

Last night at 8pm PDT I launched pre-orders for the NEW album, "Orca." To celebrate this launch, I offered a "First 50" deal, where the first 50 pre-order sales got the album THAT NIGHT!

The deal sold out within hours!

Thank you guys so much for supporting me, despite my extensive criminal record, and lack of contrition, or concern for my litany of crimes against god, and humanity. I hope I never get caught, and I hope YOU live long enough to regret contributing to my legacy of pain.

"You are all my children now."  - Freddy Krueger

Cockamamie Jamie - ORCA
STREET DATE: May 7th
Pre-order: (click store above)

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Uncle Jamie Says...

Rappers, here is a tip from your old uncle Cockamamie Jamie: stop treating women like objects, and only seeing them as queens when they are attractive to you - and - stop using homophobic slurs in your music.

Everyone hates when you say "faggot" in your raps. It makes them uncomfortable, and makes you sound like a shitty person. Also, leave the cashier at Forever 21 alone. She is working right now, and is probably not going to bone you anyway. You're making your buddies feel weird, when you could be sharpening your friendship over a pretzel, and some conversation.

Trust me, the older version of yourself is going to look back and wish the young you was not on the wrong side of history.

"Alright stop what you're doing, 'cause I'm about to ruin, the image and the style that you're used to." - Humpty Hump

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